Anyone who is a singer knows exactly my feelings on this subject. Going to rehearsals and not feeling good about what you are producing is about the most frustrating thing in the world. However, with all the practice time you miss, you have the opportunity to think a little about the world, your art, and your relationships with others. I think that there are definitely some things that I need to fess up to.
I know that I have not been devoting enough time to actually working on the songs that my teacher has been giving me. I always seem to dislike the songs that he gives me and it takes me a long time to appreciate them the way that I should. I have been working on "O ruddier than the cherry" for several weeks now and do not have it completely memorized yet because I haven't spent the time really learning it. This is something that I struggle with but I'm going to change that and work most on the songs that my teacher gives me.
I have been spending an awful lot of time over the past month getting closer to someone. For the most part, it has been great, but there is a certain point where I have draw the line. The relationship that I have with this person is not a common one. This is a special friendship where I know that I can talk to this person about almost anything and we get along really well but it has been brought to my attention that we may be spending too much time together and not focusing on what we should be. In our cases, this is preparing for serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ to those who are ready to hear. How can either of us do that to our ultimate best if we are looking back at all? Perhaps, there is a happy medium in our friendship that will allow us to still do our best but not become too attached over the next few months. I hope that this is true because I really do appreciate the relationship that we have.
Being sick for this time has given me the opportunity to look at what I really want for my life and I feel like making a list would help to put these things in order.
1. Serve an honorable mission for the Lord and return without any regrets having given my best for the full two years.
2. Return to my studies and progress in my ability to touch those around me with my talent of singing.
3. Go to the temple to be married for time and all eternity to someone that I love and could never get tired of, who has graciously accepted me for all of the things that I do that may be a little annoying.
4. Have a family that I can teach to love life, music, and (even more) the Lord.
I'm going to be working on these things for a long time but now that I have my priorities in order, I can have a better perspective on what I'm doing in my life. These past few days have been great for me and I plan on acting on all of the things that I have discovered during this time. I am so thankful for all of the things that I have been given, especially my voice and the opportunity that I have to share it with others. Maybe this is what "Being A Baritone" is all about.
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